Usurpers

I buttered stale focaccia and added a touch of cream to my tea. Butter and cream are strong in flavor. Unmistakably from an animal. Unmistakably late spring. Many people would find the flavor disagreeable. Many people are unaccustomed to strong flavor.

     We have all these things technologies: pictures of our children ice skating indoors in the wintertime that pop-up on our phone-screen in summer digitized memories an alarm clock of memories… and a voice in grey on the white email screen suggesting to us what we should write and we accept it without writing a word… weight loss pills… silver iodide released into the skies to promote rain…

     We are so impressed with ourselves. We are so impressed with ourselves. We are so impressed with ourselves. And there’s the issue of our morality… It’s bizarre to watch people walk their dogs. Leashed are the animals on a stroll. Sniff sniff. Pee pee. I watched an owner hold a bag to the dogs rear to catch the shit. Responsible dog ownership.

     Responsibility is the state or quality of being accountable, dependable, and capable of rational decisions. It broadly means owning your actions, fulfilling obligations, and answering for the consequences of your choices.

     A rational decision is a choice made through an objective, logical, and data-driven process that maximizes benefits while minimizing costs. It relies on facts and evidence to select the option most likely to achieve your specific goals, rather than relying on emotions, biases, or intuition…

     Logical describes something that relies on clear, sound, reasoning rather than emotion, bias, or guesswork. A logical decision or argument follows a predictable structured pattern where the outcome makes sense based on available facts and established rules.

     Tender ground. Tender ground. We, the weak, walk on tender ground. False ground. The false ground laid by the usurpers. Usurpers of our morality. Yes there is the issue of our morality. With all Their rights and wrongs.

I’m distracted. Unfocused. Annoyed. How trivial. I’m angry and I shouldn’t be. The outside world is knocking knocking. But what’s in it for me? I don’t have to answer the door and I don’t want to I won’t and I owe no explanation so I give none. I’m polite but today I’m saying no there is a deep and angry voice calling me and I’m now wondering over Abraham:

     Now the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee: And I will make of the a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse the, that curseth thee: and in the shall all families of the earth be blessed. (KJV Genesis 12:1-3)

     My anger is walking with me today. I go to retrieve the cooked rice. I crack an egg into the pan. Anger beast swelling inside of me. I quiver inside. Look at the shaking hand. Like I’ve drunk too much coffee. I need to walk over a threshold and close the door on the beast. Where is my home? Where is my home? I must go there…

     …infer the totality of my thoughts and beliefs because of a few words I’ve said or written. As if many things cannot be true at once. Many things are always true at once. For such an adaptable species we have great trouble thinking non-linear thoughts. Considering this I wonder why our morality is controlled by mind and not body—consciousness: complicated predator and prey. The mind has not evolved to face these current mass manipulations. There is no right or wrong way of seeing the world. Our capacity to choose… usurper… tender ground… yes there is the issue of our morality. With all Their rights and wrongs. Fire does not ask metal if it is comfortable.

     What you are seeing (Sassafras) is not the final destination. There are no roads that will take me so I build my own. To wherever they may lead.

		The sun is shining
		The corn is rising
		The Reverend Robert Jones is
		Playing in my ears
		“Precious Lord, take my hand
		Lead me on
		Let me stand
		I am tired, I’m weak, I’m worn
		Through the storm, through the night
		Lead me on to the light
		Take my hand, precious Lord
		Lead me home.”

     I’m grateful for this anger. It means something. Something is talking to me. Presenting me an opportunity to heal what is inside of me. There is nothing outside of me that will take it away. A heavy price is paid for dreams that come true.